Kissing Frogs

That old saying "you have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your prince," is ridiculous, there, I have said it and thrown it out into the universe.  I have to say I find it absurd that in this day and age ANYONE could say that to a single woman with a straight face and be utterly serious.  Let me say this, why does the over and over failure have to be character building exercise when it comes to dating.  I get that you need to find the right man and weed through the wrong ones, but it is said as if it is going to be some fun and jolly good time, which sorry, it isn't, hate to be the barer of an ugly truth.  Last time I checked kissing frogs was not fun, nor did it build character, it is just plain gross and nauseating.  An endless parade of bad dates, wrong men, and yes rejection from the ones you would have not minded seeing again gets really old really fast.  Being single in today's world is like a having a second career going on dates interviews for the position of significant other and just hoping to find someone who will give you the position.  It is arduous having to get enthusiastic for another date when the previous ones have gone oh so very well and leave you feeling like you are just the most beautiful and beguiling woman in the universe.  Again, part of me really gets that that is a part of life, meeting people and seeing how you fit, especially when it comes to attraction and an inexplicable connecting with someone,  it is a difficult thing to quantify, but it really can tread hard on a girl's self-confidence when dating is nothing more than futile activity and leads you down nothing but the road to nowhere fast.  Yeah, there are just enough of us single ladies to make the competition seem daunting and intimidating, but there again is the feeling of "is it them or is it me?"  So yes, I suppose kissing frogs will continue on and ChapStick will runneth plentiful for many ladies, but I am going to take a break and say bring on the prince now.

Perfection With a Dash of Impatience

It is an odd thing to realize something unusual about my character and personality, I am a perfectionist who is partially extremely impatient.  I find it hysterical that I have a mix of needing things to be just so, that is perfect, while being unable to be patient with things.  Take for example when I go to a place to paint paint-it-yourself pottery, I am all ready to paint something beautiful and fancy, but then get to the actual painting and just want to get it done, all the while wanting it to look as nice spectacular as the displayed items in the studio.  I race through for the most part and then get results that most would think are probably passable for decent, and think, never again, this looks like a child did it.  I try to overcome this, but find it hard to say, take your time and do it well, no, I want to do it well without time or effort.  I like to be good at things for sure, but never wanting to actually have to be slow and methodical about it.  Why I end up stressing myself about  all this is a mystery, it is not like I am really ever being judged more harshly by anyone but myself and my own perfectionist mentality.  It is truly an exhausting mind I have, but I suppose there is worse.  I find carefree and lackadaisical to be rather frustrating to cope with in others.  I suppose Type A and Type B are meant to balance out each other in this world :0)

Fall Back

On Sunday clocks rolled back as they do every year to end Daylight Savings Time, or Fall Back which is the easier way to remember what exactly we do with the clocks every year.  It really got me thinking about how fast time seems to fly by the older I am getting.  It seemed as a kid time stood still and all I did was wait for it to move. Time between birthdays was sooooooo long and tortured me to no end, and now I cherish the time between each year; waiting for summer vacation, don't get me started on that excruciating pain.   It seems unfair as a kid I noticed the passing of time is such an acute way that things never seemed to move fast enough and now as an adult things are whizzing by and time just keeps going and going and it feels like before I know it another year has gone by.   Possibly because as adults we get so caught up in so many responsibilities we can't notice something as mundane as the passing of time except when it is gone, but as a kid we have the sense to notice it and take it in and always remain aware.  It just seems interesting that as a kid the passage of time tortures us and we can't wait to get it to move, but as an adult we blink and realize it is gone and want it back.  On the other hand it makes sense, kids are less aware of the fleeting nature of time and don't see the possibility of its end, as an adult you do see that finality and get that shock with each milestone along the way as more mile markers get ticked off.  This makes me realize that carpe diem might not be so bad every once in a while, just that chance to grab something and hold on with all I have so I won't get dragged along without some sort of real proof I was there.  I guess thinking about where it all leads can be daunting and scary.  I have a friend with a posted quote online about how could we lie in our graves dreaming about what we could have been, well, very true indeed, although I don't think my reason for seeing something in that is the same as hers.  Inevitably I guess the clock runs out, how one gets to the end is up to them, and what they choose to think happens after that last tick as well.  I know what I think, and guess all the steps I take are leading me to that and being aware of that every so often isn't such a bad thing.  Growing up and having life move along is a good thing, scary for sure, but a must.  So as I changed the clocks again this year, I suppose a lot went through my mind about time and its meaning, isn't that grand :0)

October = Halloween (And SO Much More)

Well as October moves along and Halloween gets closer I start to think about what it is about this time of year that starts getting to me.  Once the Halloween decorations go up my mind goes to the obvious ghosts and ghouls (of course I prefer a less blood and gore Halloween) to Thanksgiving and Christmas.   Silly as it seems the Holiday Season start for me with October and Halloween, because with the festivities that begin in October I can start preparing for the next few months of craziness.  Of course Thanksgiving doesn't have the same party and fun tone of Halloween, but it has the family gatherings and time to reflect that can be valuable.  Christmas then combines the festivities of Halloween with a period for refection with the coming New Year as well. Funny for me this time of year is really kicking into high gear as I get to thinking about the silly ghoulish days of October, the quite peaceful time for thanks in November (and a nice LONG weekend), and the crazy wild ride that ends with December and the New Year.  Happy Halloween :0)

It Could be Real :0)

I was so stoked, the other day I see on Barnes & Noble's website they have a new page to publish your own ebook.  Seems like real serendipity when I have been playing around and actually trying to work on my own book that this little page comes along.  Seems like this could actually be something I can actually do, who knows, I could sell a few books could possibly have reason to say, yeah, I write books ;0)  I guess sometimes when one puts their mind to something things might just fall into place, they end up on the right path and need to follow through and go for it.  I guess I have no excuses now, nothing really preventing me from giving it a real go and saying "yes I can."

Nothing to Fear . . .

I have a really awesome friend, who loves to go for things, try something new and scary, and seems to on the surface never worry about it.  I give her credit and wish I could be so bold, I do try with a great deal of trepidation to step out of the "box," as she has so kindly put it, and just try.  I guess it is what makes us unique, she is the one who can go for that difficult thing, or so it seems to me, and I like to stick with the game plan.  Spicing it up is not really part of my repertoire and I don't really feel successful when I try to accomplish the lofty goals I really would love to set.  I know failure is not necessarily a bad thing, it can have its positive and life-affirming impact in the end, so they tell me.  Failure doesn't really scare me so much, to be honest, I just like kind of knowing a head of time if there is even the slightest chance for success and if I can't say there is, I say, ah, why go for it.  Sitting here on a Saturday night I think to myself, why am I blogging about this, haha.  Quite philosophical silly of me and  I wax poetic as if anyone really cares about my little take on life and very important regular matters.

Rainy Days and Mondays

Well, Sunday night again and I am thinking to myself, Monday, ugh.  Funny how fast the weekend goes by and then bam, Monday appears yet again to beat me down again.  Sunday though seems especially prone to going by really fast.  It always seems no matter how early I get  up on Sunday, before I know it it is Sunday night and the week begins again.  I suppose that is a good thing, I am still here and still have things do accomplish during the week, but sheesh, why does the weekend have to be over sooo fast before I have to do it all again.  I don't know what it is about Monday, probably the getting started and having the next few days looming and knowing what things must get accomplished.  Starting is the hardest part, just getting the motivation to get going is always the task and always the most difficult, especially for me.  Once I get going in the week I do great, but it isn't easy.  Loving Monday, not going to happen, not for me anyway, it is the one day that I can't seem to get overly enthusiastic about, try as I might to put a positive spin on it.  So, I bid adieu to the weekend and hello to Monday, my nemesis and likely to remain so, but I will take it down and survive to see Tuesday :0)

Book Geeks Unite

I recently joined a book club, something I thought I would never do.  Honestly, the idea of being assigned a book to read was not appealing to me at all, but now I'm finding I don't mind it because it is allowing me to discover other books and new authors I might really enjoy.  It is easy to stick to the same types of books and authors, but now being in the book club I am finding I have to put that aside and get out of the reading box I have put myself in.  It is fun discussing books with other "book geeks."  As we discuss our opinions and thoughts on the book, I find it is really fun to express my opinions and take in other opinions of the same material.  I guess that comes from sharing a common interest with someone, the most mundane thing can be made enjoyable.  Reading is such a solitary activity, even when you are sitting with someone else while reading, but by having a club to discuss books it makes reading social.  Simple as it is, it is becoming a favorite activity of mine and I am enjoying getting to know the members of my group when we veer off topic and get to know each other a little more personally.  Doing something I never thought I would do seems to be something I am getting a tiny bit more comfortable with these days, and I start wondering where will I go next :0) and I am sure enjoying this journey.


K

Mean People . . . GRRRR

I recently learned something about mean people, and came to some conclusions about their role in my life.  My thought has always been that according to the "Golden Rule" the way you treat people is how you want to be treated.  I suppose this is a naive way to think, but it is how my thought process goes and I don't see it changing.  I have accepted that karma is a real and true thing and hope to act accordingly.  I honestly think the good you put out into the world gets paid back to you and the bad you put out in the world also comes back somehow, someway.  I don't think that I have vindictive or cruel intentions when I have failed to act as I know I should have, and of course like every human I am liable to make mistakes and say things and do things that can be mean and thoughtless, but never with real intention to do harm.  Although I am starting to believe there are some people who I don't think feel quite the same way about this issue.   Sadly there are people that don't have that filter and don't truly care about their behavior and their treatment of others.  It is funny because I have been told on occasion that I am too nice.  I suppose I can't help myself and don't really think that giving back cruelty to those who have been cruel to me will serve any real purpose  Maybe that makes me a bit of a Pollyanna, but so be it, that is how I am.  I was recently confronted with a cruel person, and this cruelty was for no reason.  I find I can't do more than just avoid this person and be, at the bare minimum, cordial to them.  Seeing more and more of this nature in people still does not change how I view things and my reactions to them, because I can never allow myself to be the bad guy.  I truly want to be the bigger person, not the bad guy for the sake of payback.


K

Just Might Be A Crazy Idea - My Own Book

Okay, so after playing around with this idea I have decided I want to write a book myself!  I am going to go for it and try to see what I can accomplish with a little hard work and determination.  I am thinking it might be a little crazy, but really fun and could be an amazing experience.  Sharing a story and characters with the world is a dream I have had for quite some time.  It is so daunting to think of the task at hand, but if I take it in small achievable goals I think I just might be able to get this done.  Although writing is only part of the battle, I am not going to worry about that until I have product in hand and see where to go from there.  Yikes, I am really doing this now by posting this and putting it out there in cyberspace.  There is no backing out now.   Here goes nothing and it's do or die time. Oh boy, let the fun begin.


K